It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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