atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
