FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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