That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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