I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
