remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
