Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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