I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
