My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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