She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
