she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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