i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
