1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
