Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
