im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My vagina is officially offended.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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