ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
