I'm going to jail i love you
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
