I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
