She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
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