I'm jealous of your bromance
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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