Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I could fuck to npr.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Text me some of your sweat
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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