the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
