Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
i've created a new STD.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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