We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
