I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
