grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
