Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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