I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
