is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
