The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
Randomize
