Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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