ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
