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• (917): View more from New York City

  your butthole totally puckers for the ginge

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• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  i love accidental penises.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?

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• (512): View more from Texas

  just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.

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• (949): View more from California

  I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.

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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.

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• (337): View more from Louisiana

  The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth

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• (204): View more from Manitoba

  we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.

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• (217): View more from Illinois

  If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know

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• (360): View more from Washington

  Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid

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• (856): View more from New Jersey

  Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.

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