I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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