Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
