If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
