just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
