So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
smell my finger.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
