i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
