Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
