turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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