At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
