I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
