hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
