i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
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