The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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