You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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