We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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