dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
