the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
is this the sara with the beer cane?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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