ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
