I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
