He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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