I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
