You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
