I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
