There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
