I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I didn't notice because vodka
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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