Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize