what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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