Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
