How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
