just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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