I'm lost and stupid without you.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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