I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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