im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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