okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
