Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Less talking, more tequila
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
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