She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
