so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
